Little BY Little

It has been a BIG day for Jacie.

Not only did we clean her room (finally), we also got rid of the excess items that she has accumulated. Her room became the place that she opened the door and chucked things in. When I told people that we were getting rid of things, they couldn't believe it. How could you get rid of things? She has only been here 4 months. Yes, I know. That is why I knew that if I let it go until after the holidays...we would not be able to get in...

 

In China, she would make her bed what we called military style, everyday. Here, she covered her bed with her toys and discarded clothes until she couldn't even see it...

 

The other big move for her is that we are changing her sleeping arrangements from the cot in the hallway to her own bed. She is not entirely convinced that it is a good idea but I have figured out that she is so stubborn, if we wait for her to come to the place of 'desiring' it...it won't happen. Her English has progressed enough (and it is getting way to cold to sleep on a cot in an unheated upstairs when you have a perfectly warm, new bed awaiting you.) So I talked to her the whole time that were making the 'to go' pile. I explained about the importance of sharing the things that were too small and making room for new things. She still has a lot of stuff. Things that others have given her, papers and stickers from the grocery store, fair and other places. She loves to pick up flyers. I pulled several replacement window flyers out from under her bed. I can't even imagine where those came from. Perhaps the newspaper inserts...? She had enough to fully update the wallpaper in her room.

 

Back to the sleeping in her bed. I am starting to realize that a lot of what she struggles with is in her mind. She is incredibly stubborn. Though I have not figured out what about her room she doesn't like, she is now in the process of accepting it and moving forward. I say process because I am not naive enough to think that Rome was built in a day OR that one talk has convinced her resolute little mind.

 

We did go through and 'freshen' her linens, putting on the warmer set and talking about how Loren and Ma had chosen them for her room while she was still in China. Maybe that will help?

 

As I said earlier in this post, her language is progressing. She is doing quite well. The only time that I notice that she doesn't understand...when she is asked to feed the dogs. That is her 'chore' twice a day. This is how the interaction goes...

 

Mom: "Jacie, Please go feed the dogs."

 

Jacie: "Dogs?"

 

Mom: "Yes, the doggies. They are hungry."

 

Jacie: "Doggies, hungry? Jacie, hungry."

 

Mom: "No food for Jacie until she feeds the dogs."

 

Jacie: "Oh..."

 

Jacie: "Jacie too cold."

 

Mom: "Put on your coat."

 

Jacie: "Huh?"

 

I could go on but you get the drift...

 

Very soon after this 'verbal exchange', I was sorting laundry and thinking about life before Jacie. It was definitely different. I was just moving to the place where I could think in peace and quiet. It wasn't always like that in this house. I did have two two year olds...two three years olds...two four year olds...

 

I liked having the mental room to breathe...but I like this better. She does fill up my mind with chatter all of the time and I do struggle with my ability to listen and 'give' around the clock again. That is where God comes in. This is His party and has been from the start. It seems so crazy to me that He picked our family with all of our weaknesses to be 'the ones' in this beautiful young lady's life. That is a huge responsibility.

 

I remember looking through photos of waiting children, 'sifting' I called it. It is not for the faint of heart. There is such great need. Anyway, having been a 'lurker' on these websites since Jared came home (10 years prior), I never felt that gut level feeling until Jacie. It is amazing what God puts in the heart of His people and it is amazing how fast I dismissed that still small voice.

 

When I found Jacie, we were not looking to adopt. We were just starting to get comfortable. We liked our family of four. I knew that we would probably adopt again but I wasn't planning on now. I wasn't planning at all...

 

So when I found this little princess with all of her hair cut in a short, short boy cut and not even a semblance of a smile and a written bio that said she wanted brothers. God kicked in. I printed the picture and set it on the table for Bart to see when he got home. I wasn't convinced. Not at all. I had only printed about two pictures all ten years and Jacie was one of them.

 

The other thing I printed were pictures of her feet, from every angle. I knew that if we were going to commit our lives and family to this young lady, we needed to be clear what we were dealing with. Those I posted on the refrigerator. Those we prayed over as we prayed over her. Her feet are severe and have many scars, etc. I wanted to be sure that we had few (if any) surprises.

 

Obviously, God did say yes and we knew it. Yet, we did not have any extra money...none. I don't know about Bart but I prayed and prayed about the financial end of this adoption. In our position, we would have never sought out a very expensive international adoption. It wasn't 'our' cards. I have always stayed at home with the kids. I still don't have the answer on how it's all going to be 'wrapped up' financially and she has been home for four months but many people have generously given to bring her home and we are grateful to each person who helped to fulfill this calling on our lives. If I were to make my own guess on the culmination of this financial project...I would say, "It will be paid little by little."

 

That sounds familiar does it. Most important things in life are done and learned in exactly that manner.

 

Hope all is well for all of you.

 

~Angie