I had really wanted to post sooner as we were in Kentucky this weekend but alas... So much happened this weekend and to top it off we all got VERY sick. So this morning, instead of going to church, I am blogging. I was so very sick when I finally pulled in last night. I seem to have picked up whatever is floating around. Of course, Jared had it the worst. When he gets any kind of cold or respiratory ailment, he doesn't function well. I thought he was going to end up in the ER in Lexington.
Having said all of that, Jacie was the one of us who didn't get sick. Though I think we definitely wore her out. She was quite a little stinker by the end of the weekend. She did tell me a lot of stories this weekend. We don't know how much of it is true but wow... She told me that China Ba let her smoke a cigarette. Yuck! Then she promptly showed me how to blow smoke out your nose when you are smoking. Uhmm... She offered some great detail. I am inclined to believe that she did. Bart said that if she had (at five years old) she would have gotten so sick, so he didn't believe her. Then she told Jared that when she smoke, she got very sick and her head hurt. So...maybe she did. I told her that if she smoked again she would have to deal with me. She is such a stinker. There are times that I wonder if we took on too much...? Yet, I know if my heart that she is my sweetheart. I have to trust in that.
She has been really struggling with manipulation. I think that as the time goes by, she feels like she is losing China Ma and all that she represented. I believe that she is beginning to fade and Jacie is feeling vulnerable. Unfortunately, she will not tell me any names of people. I would try to track them down though I believe it is impossible. I would try. She doesn't believe me and always answers, "I no remember." That is her standard answer about China.
She is healing well from her surgery and could get her cast taken off on May 2nd. She is really excited. I know that is awhile but for her, it is flying. She does get herself around pretty well using the walker and wheelchair, though she prefers the chair. I think that her falls scared her. I know they did me!
She traveled okay. I am not certain she enjoyed the driving part. She does enjoy visiting new places. I do find that she takes one look around and then is ready to move on. She did that at the Horse Park. Her attention span is very short, like gnat sized. So when she had seen the general splendor of the area, she was done and ready to go to the car. I was hoping that time would slow her down a little bit. She seems to running through life and missing everything. I think part of the reason is that she doesn't trust that things will last so she must grab and take as much as possible. She has had so many changes in her young life... I believe that time will level her. Hopefully, it hurries. She, at this point, exhausts me. I cannot seem to please her. In Kentucky, she was so naughty that I got after her. She replied, "In China, I think you look nice. Now I know you no nice. You mean. China Ma no mean. She love me."
Yeah, that is a direct quote. Little Stinker. The best part of all of this is that I am not trying to earn her approval. So truthfully I am able to put most of what she says behind me. There are days though.
The best part of Jacie is her heart. She has the capacity to love. She just was not taught how to respect other people and I am running full combat around the clock in order to instill it. She will be nine years old this month. Wow! I said before that she has a good heart. At the show, her friend Gabe broke her pin that she shows with. Jacie heard about it and talked all afternoon about buying Gabe a present. She wanted to buy her a new pin. So I took her to the store and she bought a gift for all of the kids that where showing. It was sweet. She bought Loren a tie tack, Gabe a pin, Emma a set of earrings and Jared key chain. She enjoyed giving the gifts and it gave me hope. She always seems to take. I know that her heart is good but when I see her take all the time, I can lose hope. This was a shot of hope for me. I loved every second. Continue to pray for her. It is easy to forget that is has been just over nine months since she came. She is truly my heart~ ~CP