Jacie has been home for 2 1/2 years. She was adopted from the Special Needs Chinese Adoption Program at the age of 8 years old. She is learning and growing in her forever family~

Thursday, March 3, 2011

I Would Like to Plead Insanity...

You are not going to believe this...

I had the Mother of the Year award in my sights. I could feel the heaviness of the plaque in my fingertips and had already mentally cleared a space on my wall. I knew I had finally arrived...

Wanna guess what our favorite little stinker did today?

As certain as I am that you will never guess, I am just going to let it all out. Which is such a rarity in this blog, I know.

Jacie and I were in town running errands and I needed her to get a little something at a restaurant to tide her over. We decided to to grab a Coke at McDonald's (they are the best) and a couple of tacos. When I went through the drive through I said, "Are you sure that you don't want anything from here?"

"She replied, "Just Coke, okay?"


So I ordered it and drove to our next stop which was across town. There I ordered a taco and she piped up, "I want a Crunch wrap."

"A Crunch wrap?"


"I don't think that you will like that. Have you had one?"

"Yes, Jared (which is pronounced, Jarreeed) gave me one. I like, mama."


When we pulled out the parking lot I heard, "You right, mama. I no like."

I handed her my nachos. "You can have mine."

"No thank you."

At this point I knew that I was fighting a losing battle. She needed to eat something, her blood sugar seems to drop and then she gets very sullen and mean. So I summoned my intrinsic patience...

"What would you like?"

"French fries."

Now mind you, I had just left that restaurant which if you remember was across town. I decided that it was worth it because I really needed to finish my errands and she was my partner in them for the whole day. I pulled back into the McDonald's, greeted the same server (who probably thought I have an addiction to fast food) and ordered a small package of fries. I gave them to her, followed the curved yellow line out of the parking lot and should have just kept on driving, straight to the home for the bewildered...

Since from the back I heard this cute little voice say, "Ma, I no want fries."

I cannot do justice to what I was thinking at this point.

Jacie is very hard to feed at this point. She ate a little better when she first came. She was willing to try a little more. Now, she can like something one day...completely hate it the next. I have no major love for french fries (or any other fast food, for that matter) but I have to say that short of carrying a saucepan filled with ramen noodles and a Bunsen burner on every trip, I am not sure how to tide her over on the road. Even at home, she will refuse to eat what we have for dinner sometimes. Everyone who has heard this story can't believe that I took her to get the fries. Here is my thinking. She has no base on American foods. I do not know what she ate in China except noodles, maybe for every meal. She is still testing everything out and acclimating to her surroundings. Did it bug me to take her back to get fries? No.

Did it bug me when she didn't want them? Yeah, some but not as much as maybe it should have. I have told you already that I am mushy with this one. There is a large part of me that knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jacie needs patience. She needs to know that she can tell me the truth and count on me. So that is the position that I am in. I did talk to her about the whole situation and tried to explain that this was not good. I really think that she understood because she is intelligent. She knows that it won't happen again. We have been dealing with food issues for awhile. This is really no different, I just chose to let it slide. It is difficult to know the absolute correct answers in these situations. How easy it would be to just say no and move on. Yet, our relationship is different. It is struggling to find its balance and position.

Perhaps finding that balance will land me in the funny farm. I guess by then, I will be so crazy that I won' t even notice...?

Yesterday, she and Jarreeed (her best friend and worst enemy) were playing and Jared was not nice. This came as no surprise to me since I have noticed that most of their play consists of Jared being the Drill Sergeant and Jacie being the soldier. You can imagine how this goes, I am certain.

"Soldier, drop and give me fifty. FIFTY, I said."

Jacie drops to the floor and does a very unique looking push-up then lays there. By this time, Jared is on the floor next to her barking orders.

"Are you a soldier?"

"Yes," comes her little voice, muffled in the carpet.

"Soldiers don't lay. They do their push-ups. Now drop and give me one hundred."

"One hunder?"

"Yes, soldier."

She loves this. They go back and forth until I, once again, volunteer myself to the local insane asylum.

During their 'play time' Jared did something she didn't like so she came to me and said, "I like Jarreeed a lot but she be not nice to me. I not be her friend. If she come to me and say sorry, then I be her friend again."

Obviously this is a direct quote....

How far she has come in her young life. Yet, how far she has to go. Her language is really coming but she still misses a lot. I am still her interpreter on a regular basis. She did learn her colors. She appears to have good retention because I only told them to her once and she remembered them today. Whew! I was hoping that she didn't have the dyslexia that I had wondered about when she first came.

She told us tonight at dinner that she was no longer a Chinese girl.

"I be here now," she said.

"You can be here and still be Chinese," I replied.

"I no want to."

Tough one...

I just told her that I would go to China with her and we could both be Chinese girls. She said that I could go but she was staying with her ba.

Continue to pray for her. She is pushing very hard about not wanting surgery. In China, after her surgery she had to lay still for a long time and did not like that. We are thinking of taking her on a short trip during the time that she is laid up but in order to go I need to find a child's wheelchair (very small and easy to tote around) to borrow.

This is an amazing journey that I am grateful for every day. Even those that make me wonder about my personal sanity. The picture was taken of Jacie and Jared in China. They have been great friends since they met.


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