Jacie has been home for 2 1/2 years. She was adopted from the Special Needs Chinese Adoption Program at the age of 8 years old. She is learning and growing in her forever family~

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

We Got A Keeper

Yesterday I had my first major experience as a mother of a little girl. I know some of you are probably shaking your heads wondering where I have been for the past eight months but like I said in a previous post, it is not the same. Having been asked the question, 'How is it having a girl?" Left me a little despondent because she and I did not do the typical mother/daughter things. There is/was a lot of building that had to be done first. So...I was so excited yesterday when I saw a little green jacket in Jacie's size and wanted to buy it for her. I didn't just want to buy it for her, I WANTED to. I knew that it would look good on her with her dark hair. She needed a Spring jacket because the one that I had bought for her in preparation of her arrival (without knowing her size) fit only while we were in China. It is much too small now. I was met with the dilemma of asking her how she liked it or buying it and surprising her. She is a bit of a turkey about clothing. She will say she doesn't like something just because I do so I chose to buy it. I brought it out of the store, gave it to her with great excitement and I think that she likes it. I had the most fun dressing my little girl. I couldn't believe how attached I got to that particular jacket. Perhaps it represented a step in our relationship that I am searching for?

So in the span of shopping with mom, Jacie schmoozed me out of Spider man stickers, a new jacket, a book, a picture book and lunch. Then when we were at a store for her brothers, she threw a major fit because I wouldn't buy her a Lego set. I tried to run through the events of the morning with her but I knew that I was talking to thin air by then. She has told me repeatedly that China Ma give her anything she wanted. China Ma love her. "You ma, you no love me."

She struggles with a naughty streak that we are working on correcting. She will ask a question, one of us will answer and then she will say, "No, you don't know the answer." Then she will proceed to argue with you as long as you will let her. This is especially true of the boys. She argues with them until I could about lose my mind and I really don't have any to spare.

Anyway, when we were at the library, she wanted to read in the Quiet Cottage which is a reading loft for children. I had a couple of errands to run in town so I left the boys and her there so she could enjoy the loft. The boys were reading on the chairs beside her. I have to interject that every time we go to the library she asks to get on the computer. I tell her that she cannot without a parent. She thinks that she understands the buttons but she doesn't and has frozen our computer on many occasions by hitting the wrong ones. "Can I get on the [com]puter?" she questions.

"No, not this time."

"Why not?"

"[Because] I said so."

"I know what to do."

Well, you get the idea I am sure. So when she didn't ask, I was pleasantly surprised. Yeah, that was short-lived. As soon as I left the library, she snuck away from the loft and over to the computer. There she looked up U tube and found a Star Wars video to watch. The boys never saw her and I would not have even known if she wouldn't have said to me the minute I got back to the library, "I go to [com]puter and find Star Wars to look."

"You did what?"

"I go to [com]puter, write Star Wars and look."

You can imagine the many thoughts running through my head at this point. This is something that I had said not to do and she knew it. It is difficult to punish her because I am not always sure that she understands what she is not supposed to do. I had let her check out a movie to watch later. After talking to her and finding out that she did actually no she wasn't supposed to do that, I took her movie away. Ugghh...

It was a terrible time for her. I am not certain she believed that I would stick by it. She cried and snuffed for a long time. Each time she would check to make sure that I was listening and was convinced of her grief at her misbehavior, then she would ask, "Can I have my movie now?" Have I told you in the last few minutes that she is a turkey? Cute turkey...but a turkey nonetheless. Bart and I had to laugh (under the cover of darkness, after all of the children were in bed.) We have no doubt of her intelligence. She single-handily figured out how to open the Internet, find a book with the words she wanted to look up, copy them correctly while typing and reach her goal...

We definitely have our hands full.

Unfortunately, I don't think that our bout with discipline did any good because later in the night, I was using my special craft cutter when she asked me, "Can I cut?"

"Sure," I replied, "Get your scissors."

"I want this (pointing to my cutter.)"

"No, that is ma's."


"Just because."


A little bit later, I caught her cutting paper with my cutter.

"Why are you cutting with ma's cutter?"

"I want to."

That is where I feel that we are in reasoning. If she wants to do it, she will. Every time.

Amidst all of the struggles of the day, I have to say that I am blessed to be walking this journey and I couldn't have asked for a better kid.

Well, I could have asked I suppose but what good would it have done?

She fits right in around here. She's definitely not the first person in this house to speak her mind and stick to her guns. I really like that about her. I just will like it better when we can channel it to positive.

Pray for her as she learns about respect and love. They are not easy lessons and she is behind in the game.

Wonder if I am telling the truth about her being a full-blown corker? Check out the pictures...They were taken at the Great Wall outside of Beijing a couple of days after we got her. When I looked at those pics...I knew we got a keeper.


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