My Chinese Mini-Me

I came here thinking that we would learn to walk and that would consume all of our waking hours. It does not. We have down time that gives time for reflection. It is with that reflection comes this next post.

I am stuck in the human side of things in my head here. Every day the kids that surround us have struggles. Thus their families struggle. I weep for them. Every one of them. From the teenage boy that cries every morning to the little frail girl that doesn't speak. They each have a story. So often I focus solely on Jacie and her story- with good reason for she is my heart.

I don't think I could be a nurse or doctor. I cannot handle the thought of not being able to fix what is broken. Perhaps that is the control freak coming out in me~

Jacie is one of the most able on the floor. She works hard for what she is gaining but her needs are not as great. For her- that is wonderful. She is having to re-learn how to walk. This has been a process. We simply took her legs, 'fixed' everything and now expect her to walk. She just looks at us with that, you're kidding, right look. I just laugh at her. She is definitely a fighter.

She woke up with a little bit of an attitude. She has had a couple of big days so I am not surprised. Stinker. As I write, she is looking things up on the Internet. She loves the high-speed. We have rural Internet so it takes forever to get anything. I guess that is how the other half live...

Anyway, it is keeping her busy. I like that she is able to entertain herself sometimes so that I do not have to be her giant plaything. She doesn't like playing with me anyway because I don't let her cheat. Yes, you read that correctly- she is a cheater. Surprise, surprise. I have tromped her so badly in air hockey that she won't even play with me anymore! One point for mom.

I have not figured out what to do about Saturday. I am speaking about adoption at a convention and she will be by herself all day. I am not certain that I like that and am trying to schedule people to come and visit on a rotational basis. We'll see if that works. I do not like putting people out. I have to leave at 3 am that morning in order to make it to where I am going on time. Should make for a big day. Then to come back and sleep (well, try to sleep) at the hospital for the night. At this point, I just laugh at the nurses. I have to go on record and say that everyone of them is wonderful- they are simply not quiet. They wake her up at 11 pm to give her water. Then they come in at 1 am, sometimes 3 am- you get the drill. This morning our very kind nurse came in at 6 am, left the door open so that we could hear the morning screamer (yes, we have one of those) and then tiptoed out and very quietly closed the door. He he, all I could think is, "You left the door open. You might as well slam the door now. We are up."

I have taken to taking a little bit of a sleeping pill to take the edge off. No, I am not a certifiable pill popper yet but I am considering it. Sometimes, I lay at night and listen to all of the beeps, buzzers that fill the void hospital hallways. They seem to ricochet off every wall and come back twice as loud. The good news is that it doesn't seem to bother Jacie.

I have a picture in my head of Jacie walking with her friends in a normal gait, Jacie running through the yard and finally Jacie walking down the aisle at her wedding- that is why I am here.

I am truly blessed to walk where I do.

~Camo Pants

BTW: The therapist said that Jacie reminds him of me and the lady that did our nails said that she looks like me. She must be my Chinese mini-me. I'll be sure to tell her that. She'll be thrilled.